Science & Technology
The toilet, and five other places smartphones can never be banned
BANNING mobile phones in schools makes sense because why should they have fun? But in these sacred spaces devices should always be allowed.
Billionaire finally gets to look down on entire Earth
A BILLIONAIRE has finally achieved his dream of looking down on the entire world’s population while shaking his head condescendingly.
Britons spending 45 per cent of leisure time maintaining some kind of streak
THE average Briton spends almost half of every day maintaining a dubious series of streaks, it has emerged.
Electric car driver makes revving noises with mouth
THE driver of an electric vehicle is making the noises of an internal combustion engine with his mouth, he has admitted.
Short men really are inferior, say tall scientists
TALL researchers have concluded that short men are inferior in every possible way.
Bill Gates dies turning Windows back on
BILLIONAIRE and philanthropist Bill Gates has sacrificed his life to make Windows work again.