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Politics

In just two years, Keir Starmer has destroyed Britain

REMEMBER June 2024? When Britain was a paradise? When taxes were low, public services thriving, the armed forces roaring with power?

Today, I become Labour leader. Big f**king deal

AT lunchtime today, I will be made the leader of the Labour Party. Whoop-di-f**king-woo. Think I give a shit about that?

Starmer moved that everyone wrote 'goodbye and good luck' in leaving card

THE prime minister is genuinely touched that his colleagues wrote the most generic of messages in his leaving card, he has revealed.

Farage turned down official security because it wasn't wearing enough leather

Shrewd Clacton voter suspects Count Binface may be a fictional character

AN astute voter in Clacton-on-Sea has a hunch that Count Binface might not actually be from the planet Sigma IX.

I joined Reform because I'm into corruption, says Jenrick

Six political heavyweights challenging Count Binface in the Clacton by-election

COUNT Binface is clearly the favourite to win the Clacton by-election. But it is impossible to rule out a surprise result with candidates of this calibre standing.

It is a matter of days before Farage punches a seagull

I have bravely put my future in the hands of twats who love me. By Nigel Farage

COULD there be anything more heroic than seeking re-election in a constituency where I will almost certainly win? No, and that is why all criticism of me must stop.

By-election will be chance to visit Clacton, says Farage

NIGEL Farage has resigned to fight the establishment in a by-election, adding that campaigning will also allow him to visit Clacton for the first time since 2024.