Politics

POLITICS is like any relationship – it’s about compromise. And a Machiavellian brain like mine can compromise any enemy into submission by abandoning his beliefs at every turn.

THE British Broadcasting Corporation, Glastonbury Festival and Keir Starmer’s government must all be permanently dissolved because of what a punk band said.

THE prime minister, standing at a podium in Downing Street with his trousers around his ankles and his genitalia fully visible, has denied he has been humiliated.

POLITICAL commentators have begun to talk seriously about Keir Starmer being forced out. And there’s another leader who had a difficult, protracted downfall: Hitler. So how do they compare?

PRESIDENT f**king Trump is to call an asshole a motherf**king asshole through his remaining years in the bastard White House, he has confirmed.

PRESIDENT Trump has announced that after a single intervention by the greatest leader the world has ever known, the Middle East is now fixed.

FINALLY Starmer has bowed to public pressure and set up a national inquiry into grooming gangs. And from there, believes Martin Bishop, these actions are inevitable.

THE chancellor yesterday outlined a government spending spree of either £113bn, £300bn, or £4 trillion, depending on the strength of your loathing for her. Which are you?