Politics

HAVE you ditched your significant other in dramatic fashion but now realise you want them back? Win them over with this guide.

THERE feels something a tad amiss about my state visit to the US. Almost as if the prime minister is a back-alley ‘pimp’, and I am to take the role of his ‘bitch’.

WHEN Trump insults Britain and our Royal Navy does he mean the country, which is outrageous, or our prime minister, which is great?

THE goal has been set: find the supposedly stolen phone of former Starmer aide Morgan McSweeney, end the current government and choose the next one. Here’s how:

NIGEL Farage is the second most popular presenter of personal messages in Britain, beaten only by Jay from The Inbetweeners. What did he say in yours?

THE assisted dying bill in Scotland has been defeated after a moving monologue on choosing life delivered by Edinburgh MSP Mark Renton.

IT seems that, based on polling, I have stumbled into a policy which is popular with the public at large. I promise you that was not my intention.

KEIR Starmer purred down the phone to President Trump that he is willing to do anything, ‘and I do mean anything’ to get the special relationship back in track.