Lifestyle

SO the Northern Lights are back. Big f**king deal, you might say. Well, it is for those of us who blew four grand to see the f**kers in Norway seven years ago.

A MAN’S hearing is so sensitive that he can detect a bra being unhooked from the other side of the house, his girlfriend has confirmed.

THE fashion decisions of a 48-year-old man are still dictated by his belief that blue is for boys and all other colours are troublingly feminine.

A MAN who spent at least three years of his youth saving spent fireworks in jars cannot now comprehend why he did that.

FATHERS emboldened by the Christmas John Lewis advert have told their children how deeply they resent being dragged away from lives of ecstatic hedonism.

THE rules were clear. I would live in a large country cottage rent-free with an income equivalent to £1 million a year. Easy, I thought. Never imagining the living hell I would enter.

EXHAUSTED by all the sex you're getting? Start living like a monk by asking your barber for these hairstyles.

EVER wondered why the man in your life takes so long showering? Here are the things he's doing in the bathroom he'd rather you didn't know about.

CLAUDIA Winkleman’s outfits on The Traitors have ordinary people aghast and divorced authoritarian middle-managers wondering how to get the look. Follow these tips.