Lifestyle

A MAN heading to Athens for his summer holiday is brushing up on how to speak English slowly and more loudly.

ARE you setting up tables, chairs and a six-ring gas hob in very limited space at a summer festival? You’re probably being a dick in these ways too.

UNDER the age of 18 and worried how you’ll ever see funbags again when porn sites ask for age verification? Follow these simple steps.

AN 18-YEAR-OLD in Swindon wishes he had hired party dwarves for a Mafia-themed birthday party like Lamine Yamal, but instead went bowling and to Nando’s.

AT A party with teenage friends? Spotted a mate with a joint? Your duty to society and your friend is to contact the police immediately. Here’s how to snitch responsibly.

BEFORE Gen Z came along, life was devoid of pleasure, style and emotional nuance. Thank goodness they invented all these things completely by themselves.

A WOMAN is wringing every possible like out of her wedding photos by still posting them to Instagram three years after the fact.

JUST one hour into the Glastonbury festival, attendee Tom Booker has admitted it is ‘not for him’ with approximately 96 hours left to go.

THE first arrivals at Glastonbury are shitting with barely a tremor of revulsion, they have gleefully confirmed.