Lifestyle

I'll watch anything, says girlfriend who won't

A WOMAN who claims she is happy to watch any TV show or film is only open to doing so until offered options, it has emerged.

The six stages of a man getting a hair transplant

IS A man in your life gazing at Wayne Rooney and Rob Brydon with naked envy? Always on websites with a particular follicular bent? These are the stages to watch for.

Of course house guest is a f**king imposition

A HOUSEGUEST who sweetly said she did not want to impose should have thought of that before arriving at a friend’s home for a whole weekend.

This is ideal gilet weather, says gilet wearer

A HABITUAL wearer of gilets has informed all his colleagues that the early autumn chill is the ideal season for the wearing of a gilet.

They simply couldn't be f**ked, and other honest reasons someone didn't text you back

RECEIVED an apologetic text from a friend explaining why they didn’t respond sooner? Ignore their lies. These are the real reasons people are slow to reply.

How to drink 15 cans of Monster responsibly: A government guide

UNDER-16s will will no longer be able to buy energy drinks, but there’s no reason adults can’t continue to enjoy them responsibly as part of a high-caffeine diet. Here’s how.

Pillow fights in frilly nightgowns: what happens on a girls' night by Roy Hobbs, aged 59

RETIRED rail porter Roy Hobbs knows exactly what happens on these so-called girls’ nights, and it’s not just Netflix and ‘a chat about work’. He exposes the truth.

Six places you can demand to take your f**king dog now

THE UK is now pandering to dog-lovers to the extent there’s barely a place your nasty yapping mutt isn’t allowed. These locations are pathetically dog-friendly.

'Dickheads' and other more accurate terms to describe performative males

MEN who insincerely adopt female-friendly behaviours to attract women have been labelled ‘performative males’. However these far better terms exist.

Friend who claims to be okay thinking of living on a houseboat

A FRIEND who says they are fine is nevertheless considering moving out of their flat to live on a houseboat, it has emerged.