Lifestyle

THE most wonderful time of the year is upon us, and you’ll be spending it trapped in a room with a person you abhor. Who is your Yuletide nemesis?

DECIDED to f**k up everyone else’s Christmas by having a wedding? You probably think these other things are a great idea too.

WOMEN are fully aware there are sprigs of mistletoe strategically placed over doorways and are deliberately disregarding them, it has emerged.

YOUNG thrill-seeking drinkers, bored with gentrified gastropubs, are seeking out old-fashioned drinkeries that serve pints flavoured with intimidation and danger.

A POPULAR high street wargaming store has announced that the beauty pageant it was due to hold today has been cancelled.

A MAN has countered allegations of hair loss by asserting that it only seems that way because his brow is growing by the day.

ARE you playing dungeon master for busy working mums who just want to escape from it all and shag a centaur? Include these key points.

EVER met anyone from Lincolnshire? Can you even imagine saying ‘Where are you from?’ and the answer being ‘Warwick?’ No. These swathes of Britain are uninhabited.

A RESIDENT of London has been stripped of her status by presuming to learn to drive a car by which she might visit other places.

GEN Z has confirmed the mullet is the official hairstyle of anyone who wishes to announce they stand outside of the gender binary.