Lifestyle

ARE you the only man in a house ruled by your wife and your daughters? Are you humiliated daily by a domestic matriarchy? This is the catalogue of your shame.

BRITAIN? Nowhere better for a holiday, if they’d get rid of those goddamn windmills. And thanks to me beating Iran, you’ll have the greatest UK break. Here’s how.

A MAN wants to be in the prime of his youth in an era he has intense nostalgia for as he gets older, he has revealed.

OFF to the park to enjoy the weather, only to discover people have claimed all the space because they’re more important than you? Here are their devious methods.

THE government wants the whole of Britain to enjoy a summer of sex because an MP is bringing dildos to Parliament. They will under-deliver on this erotic promise.

BIRDS are waking up singing merrily every morning because the season of them crapping all over the clean clothes you have hung out is here once more.

INSTEAD of being dragged from slumber with a grudge against the world, does your partner leap peppily and unbearably from the bed? Here’s how to handle it.

A NEW vicar attempting to reach out to parishioners below the age of 60 is universally despised for trying to be cool and approachable.

A WOMAN spring cleaning the flat she shares with her partner has decided that means chucking out all his stuff she does not see the point of.

FATHERHOOD is the most important experience a man will have in his life, apart from 100 per centing GTAV, but it can be harrowing. These men scored small, humiliating victories.