Lifestyle

A RESEARCH team has concluded that astrology is real and Virgos are total arseholes to a man.

WOMEN have admitted they demand large diamond rings because they are an unignorable warning to annoying wankers trying to chat them up.

A FATHER disappointed at an Algarve beach without a single topless sunbather has placed the blame firmly on his son's prick generation and their phones.

THE police are to remain on high alert this weekend due to the threat of further disorder. But will you be joining the race riots or heading to Dobbie’s instead?

THERE ain’t no party like a National Express coach party. Here are just some of the high-octane destinations your grandad and I have painted red, writes Grandma Hughes.

WHEN it comes to questionable dating choices, there’s nothing so visibly freakish as a batshit big age gap. So why do people do it? We explore the mostly positives about dating someone who regularly gets mistaken for your grandpa.

AN urban couple spending a weekend in the natural beauty of the English countryside have discovered it to be largely composed of mammalian faeces.

A FAMILY returning from a week in Weymouth has confirmed that camping is no better when the weather is gloriously sunny.

GOING on a coach trip to stir up racial tensions with your arsehole EDL mates this summer? Here’s a checklist of things to pack in our current hot weather.

A COUPLE have outraged public decency by abusing their new puppy by calling him ‘Simon’.