Lifestyle

GOING on a coach trip to stir up racial tensions with your arsehole EDL mates this summer? Here’s a checklist of things to pack in our current hot weather.

A COUPLE have outraged public decency by abusing their new puppy by calling him ‘Simon’.

ENJOYMENT of a man’s Prague stag do has been drastically reduced by the presence of the groom-to-be’s father, guests have confirmed.

THE futility of Britain’s decision to leave the EU has been exposed by a little tethered bottle cap you get annoyed about on a daily basis.

A WOMAN is trying to work out whether she is embracing the ‘brat summer’ vibe, or if her shambolic life is simply spiralling out of control.

A WINSOME woman cycling through a town, her floral dress dancing behind her in the wind, is blissfully unaware of the vehicular chaos following in her wake.

THE long summer holidays can put undue pressure on your relationship with self-abuse. Here Oliver O’Connor, aged 15, explains how to keep compulsive masturbation fresh.

A FAMILY on an excursion abroad have admitted they are too middle-class to sully themselves by deriving pleasure from it.

A MAN who has felt sluggish and groggy every morning for the last 20 years has been stunned to learn that getting more sleep makes him perkier.  

SHARING interminable and exaggerated anecdotes about drug experiences is to be made a criminal offence, it has emerged.