Lifestyle

A COUPLE are having a second child because they are already bored rigid of having to play with their first one, they have confirmed.

AFTER a chaotic Bank Holiday weekend, Euston was at a standstill again yesterday. But Network Rail keeps urging us to have family days out by train, so here are some great places you won’t get to.

BRITAIN is due a general election this year and you’re overdue a bout of bedroom activity. But given widespread reluctance to call either, which will happen first?

NATURALIST, naturist and national treasure Sir David Attenborough has turned his analytical eye to the brutal and feral rituals of the hen party.

ARE you a grump for suspecting your message will be ignored as you press ‘send’? No, because you’re contacting one of these feckless bastards.

A MAN is stunned to discover that his friends are at an age where they are actively having children on purpose, it has emerged.

A WOMAN has admitted giving her pet dog a weekly allowance so he can get himself little treats if he want to.

A BALD man has admitted that, though nobody would ever suspect it, he would actually prefer to have hair.

CHILDREN say the cruelest, funniest things, directly to you in front of a roomful of people, like ‘Where’s your hair gone, uncle Simon?’ Here’s how to laugh it off.