Society

NOBODY but a resident or a Reform candidate dreaming of an MP’s salary would ever visit, but these two-stall market towns have Tourist Information Centres anyway. Why?

A LONDON resident told housing outside the capital is readily available for less than half a million pounds has dismissed it as a provincial hoax.

THE conductor of a train from London to Manchester has enjoyed his sixth climax of the day by telling passengers their tickets are invalid.

A PROPER traditional racist who bases his prejudice on skin colour is horrified by the rising tide of anti-Semitism.

THE classic ice lollies of the 70s and 80s are more than just nostalgia. They symbolise a better time which only Reform can bring back, explains councillor Norman Steele.

A LONDONER’S journey to work resembles Odysseus’s journey home from Troy according to her self-serving bullshit account of the saga.

SHEFFIELD University has carried out a study of regional insults, most of which are stupid and make you sound like a halfwit yokel. Here is a sample in order of increasing shitness.

A MAN hosting a pub quiz has, without warning, written questions only about Gillian Anderson.