Society

New Asian colleague on works curry night expected to be a sodding expert

AN Asian man out for a curry with his new office colleagues has been quizzed about Indian food as if he somehow has an innate knowledge of it.

Middle-class couple give newborn daughter name of withered Edwardian schoolmistress

A PAIR of moneyed new parents have given their beautiful, hours-old daughter a name best suited to a sour schoolmarm who lived a hundred years ago.  

We ask you: can landlords honestly be said to work as people?

Labour have been criticised for saying landlords cannot be viewed to be working as human beings. What do you think?

British happiness now based mainly on suffering of others

BRITONS can now only achieve happiness while seeing others, preferably also Britons, having a total and utter nightmare.

Fred West and other famous cases I have my doubts about, by David Davis MP

HELLO, Double Dave here. Despite Brexit cementing my reputation for being thick as mince, I’m 90 per cent sure Lucy Letby is innocent. I could also help these obvious miscarriages of justice.

A working-class guide to British national treasures

STEPHEN Fry? F**k off. These are the real national treasures of Britain, according to builder Wayne Hayes and the lads down the Portakabin.

Do you look a twat for selling your second home last month?

OWNERS of second homes who hastily sold them in the belief that Rachel Reeves was planning to tax them have been left looking like total knobheads.

Learner driver effortlessly tackling everything empty industrial estate can throw at him

A LEARNER driver is handling the flat roads and unobstructed corners of his local industrial estate like a pro, he has confirmed.

Woman sets healthy boundaries of only doing what she wants to

A WOMAN has informed friends she is prioritising her mental wellbeing by setting boundaries of only doing what she enjoys.