Society

FOR years I’ve ignored the erosion of our civil liberties. CCTV on every building? Fine. Proscribing Palestine Action? Whatever. But now I realise our freedom is in grave danger if it’s becoming a major hassle to rub one out.

THE Civil Service has announced that internships will only be open to people from working-class backgrounds. Find out if you're salt of the earth enough to qualify with this quiz.

A MEDIOCRE-LOOKING man has qualified as attractive in the context of a bus, it has emerged.

A DEGREE doesn’t make you immune to life’s little mishaps. It means when they happen, you handle them with dignity, passive-aggression and Ocado bags in the footwell.

CHILDREN who are only taken on holidays in the UK have either done something terrible or are simply worthless, their parents have confirmed.

HELLO there! Yes, you seem to have skin of a shade that would suit our purposes. Could you do us an enormous favour and trigger a summer of riots?

INTRIGUED by all those making an easy living from OnlyFans? Here painfully naive girlfriend Nikki Hollis explains why she’s considering giving it a go.

UNIVERSITY leavers who claim to be smart all look incredibly dumb as they swish through cities in their ridiculous twat’s gowns.

THE majority of British children should be excused school as it is a waste of their and society’s time, say experts.

THE men who cut down the Sycamore Gap tree have been cornered by a copse of menacing oaks in the prison showers hissing ‘Where’s your chainsaw now?’