Society

RESIDENTS of the countryside have confirmed nobody understands their rural ways and therefore any criticism of their actions is automatically invalid.

THE majority of Britain has vowed never to buy a product from a company creating a false air of personability using the tried-and-tested friendly Northern voiceover.

EVERY train in the UK is late and everyone who is late for work has been dismissed by their employer.

ARE you full of the joys of the season, mince pies and festive-themed ales, or are you a vicious miser who deserves a good triple haunting?

TRAINS are so unreliable they have to come up with a host of stupid excuses to keep travellers docile. Here’s the truth behind their lies.

PETA have claimed a pub called ‘The Sly Old Fox’ is offensive to foxes. Which is a great way to stop people taking you seriously and presumably means these names are unacceptable too…

ENTERED a room? Concerned not everyone in it know you were born with coal in the bath and hatred of Thatcher in your heart? Let them know.

A MAN attending a reunion of his school class is shocked to see how badly all his former classmates have aged in the last 25 years.