Internet misogynists given chance to meet a woman

A GROUP of online misogynists have been introduced to an actual woman for the first time.

After the drama Adolescence highlighted the risks of incel culture, the government has launched Wo-Meet, a new initiative where weird, angry men can experience meeting a woman who is not in a browser tab.

A spokesperson said: “Wo-Meet is a place where socially-dysfunctional men who simultaneously hate, fear, and fancy women can spend 20 closely-monitored minutes talking to a woman who won’t make fun of them.”

Participant Waynes Hayes, 30, said: “At first I was scared of Nikki because she was fully-clothed and much bigger than screen-sized.

“When I asked she said Nikki was her proper name, not a made-up name for being in porn films. Apparently most women aren’t even in porn films. 

“I asked her why she and the matriarchy hate men so much. She said she didn’t and she only hated her ex-boyfriend Steve, who kept cheating on her and making her watch his amateur football team. I can kind of see that.

“I’d expected her to emasculate me like a cuck, but actually we got along okay. I asked her what food women eat and she said it was the same as men. It’s been a learning experience.”

He added: “At the end, I said she could come to my mum’s house and we could have fish fingers and watch my favourite programme, which is Reacher.

“She said thanks, but probably not.”

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Five celebrities who must f**king love being described as 'unconventionally attractive'

MOST celebrities are visions of beauty, so ones who are merely quite attractive are regarded as runts of the litter. We’re sure these love being described as ‘unconventionally attractive’.

Eva Green

You’d think that being a Bond girl would be a safe sign that Eva Green is pretty fit. Apparently not. Even a cursory Google of her name reveals that people are confused by her bone structure. And these comments must be onto something because they’re made by Reddit users, known for being connoisseurs of aesthetics who only date at supermodel level. 

Rami Malek

If you’re hot enough to front a hit TV series and play Freddie Mercury in a Queen biopic, then chances are you’re certifiably good-looking. But for Rami Malek’s sake, let’s hope he doesn’t read reviews that fixate on his prominent jawline and formidable cheekbones. Which is fair enough, because it’s common knowledge that women prefer a massive underbite and round, chubby faces.

Anya Taylor-Joy

While it’s true that Anya Taylor-Joy has a haunting, otherworldly beauty, the sort you’d expect to find with the ghost of a mermaid, it’s still beauty nonetheless. Can you really claim to compete with her beguiling visage as it swims across the red carpet? No, you cannot. And imagine her comparative beauty if she walked into McDonald’s. She’d be worshipped as a god-queen and not have to pay for her Big Mac.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Secretly, Benedict Cumberbatch knows he is not your traditional Hollywood hunk. You do not get cast as Sherlock Holmes or Doctor Strange if you look like a male catalogue model. But for an actor, deep-set eyes and a narrow jaw are a blessing, not a curse. They mean you get to play all the creepy freaks people would definitely think you were if you weren’t famous.

Lorde

Is Lorde attractive? Yes. Is her beauty slightly out of step with the ideals that fame and success dictate? Also yes. But for a pioneering and groundbreaking musician who has done more with her life than you ever will, who gives a shit? Probably not Lorde, who can always blot out the pain of being merely attractive by counting a massive pile of Scrooge McDuck money.