Lifestyle

THE whole nation is approaching the midpoint of a very successful Dry January, if referring to sex only.

ARE you desperate for attention on the internet? Thousands of people are constantly posting shit that never happened, so here’s how to make sure your dubious tale gets likes.

AMBER snow warnings have been issued for the UK, which sounds scary. But car journeys need not be hazardous with these simple precautions and a willingness to eat human flesh.

NO-ONE wants to look as if they're selling sexual services at a New Year's gathering, so if you're a woman paranoid about her outfit use our checklist.

STAYING awake to witness one year transition to the next is a gruelling marathon that will never end when done with children under ten, parents agree.

YOU thought AI understood you and knew your likes and dislikes. But your faith in your new digital best friend was shaken when it got you these gifts.

CHRISTMAS is almost upon us and you’ve got everything in except, hang on, you just need this one item and Tesco is open until 7pm. What is it?

ARE you a mum under pressure to organise a perfect Christmas? Good. Forget any of these, and you’ve ruined it for everyone, you heartless bitch.

CHRISTMAS is but days away, and around the country families are getting together to do dizzyingly weird shit they think is normal. What’s your bizarre tradition?

A WOMAN in her 30s has been left traumatised after realising her friends are starting to look and sound like their parents she remembers from childhood.