Lifestyle

Holidays, breathing, feeling sad: Six things clever Gen Z have invented for us all

BEFORE Gen Z came along, life was devoid of pleasure, style and emotional nuance. Thank goodness they invented all these things completely by themselves.

Woman on Instagram really milking wedding photos from three years ago

A WOMAN is wringing every possible like out of her wedding photos by still posting them to Instagram three years after the fact.

'This was a mistake,' realises man who is at Glastonbury until Tuesday

JUST one hour into the Glastonbury festival, attendee Tom Booker has admitted it is ‘not for him’ with approximately 96 hours left to go.

First in at Glastonbury enjoying some pretty sweet bogs

THE first arrivals at Glastonbury are shitting with barely a tremor of revulsion, they have gleefully confirmed.

Lake District unveils new slogan 'The Lake District: never f**king worth it'

THE Lake District has unveiled a new advertising campaign reminding the public that travelling there is always to be regretted and never, ever pays off.

Friend who doesn't follow the news might be onto something

YOUR friend who you have previously mocked for their lack of interest in current affairs may have had the right idea the entire time, you have admitted.

Don't step on a faerie: A practical guide to the worst Summer Solstice hippy bollocks

IT’S the Summer Solstice tomorrow, and celebrations will include every type of mystical bollocks from the Mother Goddess to fae folk. Here’s how to take a more practical, grounded approach.

'What the ever-living f**k are you washing your clothes in?' Vinted sellers asked

AFTER receiving clothes that smell like a nuclear warhead went off in a detergent factory, Vinted buyers are wondering what their purchases are cleaned in.

School leavers enter the real world with two-month long holiday

TEENAGERS leaving secondary school have been plunged into the harsh reality of ten weeks off pissing about with their mates.