Lifestyle

CHRISTMAS is almost upon us and you’ve got everything in except, hang on, you just need this one item and Tesco is open until 7pm. What is it?

ARE you a mum under pressure to organise a perfect Christmas? Good. Forget any of these, and you’ve ruined it for everyone, you heartless bitch.

CHRISTMAS is but days away, and around the country families are getting together to do dizzyingly weird shit they think is normal. What’s your bizarre tradition?

A WOMAN in her 30s has been left traumatised after realising her friends are starting to look and sound like their parents she remembers from childhood. 

WHILE you sit around eating Hob-Nobs, one hard-working Welsh couple have just won £1 million on the lottery for the second time. Here’s how you can be more like them.

AN intense eight-year-old has spent an entire weekend herding sheep in preparation for his role in today’s nativity play.

A MAN thoughtfully chosen as a stand-in parent is confident it is all a totally meaningless gesture.

A MAN who organises his life with military precision has a laminated printout of favourite masturbation fantasies working on a 21-day rotating schedule.

A WOMAN has admitted she adores everything about the natural world once sanitised on screen.

IT is now obligatory, on visiting a Christmas market, to pronounce it ‘hell’, ‘hellish’ and that Beelzebub himself was operating the churro stall. Here are some key differences worth noting.