Lifestyle

New mother giving up work to post photos of child full-time

A NEW mother has confirmed she has abandoned her career in order to focus on posting photos of her child full-time. 

Not repeating what Mummy said about Auntie Emma: Seven occasions to teach children the importance of lying

IT’S never too soon to teach your offspring to lie if it saves you hassle, time and money. Here are the times when telling the truth is wrong and lying is what good girls and boys do.

Barber and customer in conspiracy of silence over receding hair

A MAN is locked in a toxic relationship with his barber that is based on lies, he has admitted.

Fishing without a licence, and other petty but cool entries in your criminal record

DO you feel a minor conviction might give you some much-need street cred? Get yourself nabbed for one of these misdemeanours:

Going down the newsagent for a Slush Puppie: What 1980s dads considered a day out

STILL shaking after paying £90 for a safari park which will entertain the kids for two whole hours? Let Norman Steele explain how he kept his kids happy circa 1985.

Six household chores which don't really need doing, surely

NOT every chore is necessary. Many are pointless busywork invented by bored obsessives making problems for themselves to triumphantly solve. Skip these guilt-free.

How to inwardly panic about porn age verification while affecting not to be bothered

PORN sites are now requiring proof you’re 18, which means giving out personal details you’d really rather not. Here’s how to hide your panic at having your porn cut off.

Six painful steps to reconnecting with that mate who can get you weed

HE isn’t only a drug dealer; he thinks he’s a mate. Which means performing an intricate dance of feigned friendship to get what you want. Follow these steps.

Dad ticking off holiday activities with ruthless efficiency

A DAD on a family holiday is ticking off activities with the cold, mechanical precision of a minor Gestapo official, it has emerged.

Is your wanking ratio normal for your age?

STILL spanking one out at 50? Concerned the frequency of your solo self-abuse is not age appropriate? Our quiz will tell you whether to throttle back or push ever onwards.