Lifestyle

A white home counties roadman rap battles for him’s house on sports day 

14-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, represents him’s school house in a rap battle for respect and house points.

Pain au chocolat and other things that are delightfully fun to mispronounce

DELIBERATELY cocking up the pronunciation of words is one of life's little pleasures, so liven up your otherwise drab existence by mangling these.

Birdwatching, and other hobbies suited to people who've given up on ever getting laid

ABANDONED all hope of getting a shag? Fill your time with one of these cripplingly dull hobbies where your lack of sexual charisma will see you fit right in.

University town fun for three years and not a day more

TOWNS where students go to get drunk and occasionally attend lectures are fun for exactly three years only, it has emerged.

'I'm fresh from the surf', claims woman wearing DryRobe for school run in Derby

A MUM wearing a DryRobe on the school run has come fresh from a strenuous cold-water swim at the beach, she has implied.

Couple insist underfloor heating won't change them

A COUPLE who have just had underfloor heating installed are claiming they will not let it go to their heads.

Letting someone with one item go in front of you: Good deeds you've got no sodding choice about

SOME acts of kindness are so unavoidable you can’t even congratulate yourself on your incredible generosity toward the little people. Here are some you just grudgingly have to do.

'Influencers using our iconic streets for photo-ops is ruining Wolverhampton'

RESIDENTS of Wolverhampton are sick of tourists posing outside of their homes and clogging up their stunning town centre, it has emerged.

It's a privilege to let me pass, explains SUV driver

A WOMAN passing in a f**k off massive car does not need to thank you because your car is smaller and therefore utterly insignificant.

Smeg kettle and Smeg toaster mean nothing if you don't own Smeg fridge

SMALLER Smeg appliances are in no way impressive unless complementing a huge Smeg refrigerator, homeowners have confirmed.