A MAN has bravely told his girlfriend how great her new pixie crop looks while pinching his inner wrist hard to hold back the tears.
After Sophie Rodiguez surprised boyfriend Oliver O’Connor with her bold new-look-new-me style, which chopped off her long, flowing locks for a short, layered crop, he manfully described it as ‘fresh’ and ‘fashionable’ rather than ‘f**king hearbreaking’.
O’Connor said: “She showed me it in the magazine. She said she thought it would really work on her. I never thought she’d actually f**king do it.
“What do hairdressers charge so much for if not to talk women out of self-harm like this? She’s there talking about how different it feels, clearly chasing reassurance, and I’m holding back tears at the loss of my beautiful mermaid Rapunzel.
“Can I call the salon? Do they keep the hair? Is there any way they can put it back on? I don’t know how long I can keep this up. I can feel my lip tremble.
“Apparently men only like long hair because it hearkens back to our evolutionary need to find a mate who displays visible good health. Nonsense. I like it because it’s shiny and tosses in the breeze.
“It’ll take 15 months to grow out. I think we need to take a break.”
Rodriguez said: “The only thing that’s stopping me crying is that Oliver likes it. I f**king hate it.”
