A NEW range of boutique 12 per cent lagers are the drink of choice for sophisticated urban professionals at upscale dinner parties. 

The lagers, which are marketed under ironic brands like Dog Roper and Bridgesleeper, are promoted as lending an ‘authentic taste of bohemian street culture to staid social occasions’.

Thomas Booker, a senior marketing consultant, said: “In our current moment of fractured culture, the only valid discussions are the incoherent ones. And lager helps.

“Within a few cans, discussions about grammar school catchment areas and the Booker Prize shortlist devolve into arguments about what really matters, like who has been caught looking at whose bird and what the f**k that wanker just said.

“By the time I brought out the honey-rum tiramisu we’ve usually reached the most honest stage of all, which is violence. Once you’ve seen a leading poetry publisher thrown through French doors by a commodities broker, both howling pissed, no other dinner can compare.”

Helen Archer, a consultant surgeon, said: “It really is deliciously moreish to the point where I clawed at my host’s eyes to get the last can, which I never would for Riesling.

“I do live in a bus shelter now, admittedly, but I’ve invited a few friends over for pan-seared scallops, a discussion of Hungarian cinema and a few cans later this evening.”