Politics

Sue Gray earns £63,000 more than Starmer gets in freebies

THE prime minister’s chief of staff earns a shocking £63,000 per annum more than he is receiving in declared gifts, it has emerged.

Independent Scotland could have been exactly the same, say experts

IF Scotland had won independence ten years ago it could have been exactly the same in every way, according to experts.

I will change government policy for a good quality men's jacket. By Keir Starmer

I REALLY need a winter coat, so if you’d like to buy me one – a £950 Canada Goose would allow me to do my job effectively – then pick the law you don’t like.

We ask you: which prisoners would you like Keir Starmer to release next?

THE prime minister has affirmed his commitment to locking ‘em up is matched by his commitment to letting ‘em out early. Who do you want to see released?

Being right-wing will keep you nice and warm, Starmer tells pensioners

KEIR Starmer has told pensioners worried about their winter fuel allowance that being furiously and impotently right-wing will give them an inner glow.

The optimistic Labour voter's guide to f**king hating them two months later

WERE you not expecting miracles from Labour, but are now justifiably annoyed at how shit they actually are? Here’s how to cope with it for the next five f**king years.

Angela Rayner still on the decks

THE deputy prime minister has remained on the decks spinning fat tunes from the end of her holiday and into parliament, it has emerged.

You just can't handle a strong, incompetent, unpopular, bigoted Asian woman, Patel tells Tories

PRITI Patel feels she has only been knocked out of the Tory leadership race because the party is not ready for a strong woman with her awful qualities.