UKRAINE has taken the fight to Russia by invading the Kursk region, but will it go as brilliantly for them as it always has historically? 

Helen Archer, company director: “Napoleon and Hitler only lost because they were the bad guys. We know that because they lost.”

Lottie Phelps, lifeguard: “There’s loads of Russia so it probably won’t notice a bit missing. That’s the logic I use when stealing my housemate’s cheese.”

Ryan Whittaker, tyre fitter: “I view this as not so much a military manoeuvre, more Kiev Lads On Tour 24, and I’m confident Putin will see it the same way.”

Stephen Malley, part-time mummer: “It’s possible they didn’t even realise they were invading. Ukraine is very similar to Russia. They both use those backwards Rs.”

Joanne Kramer, tax consultant: “Tactically it’s brilliant. Kursk is now swapsies.”