Science & Technology

BILLIONS of humans across the world have stopped functioning after the 5G Microsoft nanochips implanted by vaccines suffered an outage.

THE global plunge in AI-related stock means a number of absolute copper-bottomed wankshafts are facing hilarious bankruptcy.

THANKS to Google, once-in-a-lifetime spectacles can be seen from the comfort of your phone at any time. Including these.

MEN who equate advanced mathematical ability with hotness after Hannah Fry’s stint on Celebrity Traitors are confused that not all in the profession are equally gorgeous.

ELON Musk’s car company Tesla has launched an effective new way to tell if someone is an insufferable bellend.

SO, all this brown stuff just plopped out of my bottom and into the toilet. What should I do next?

CYBER criminals are threatening to tell M&S all about your secret addiction to buying cheap fast fashion from ASOS.