Science & Technology

How to f**k up ordering food from an app

THANKS to apps you can have food delivered direct to your gaping maw. But despite it supposedly being a piss-easy modern convenience, here’s how it can go horribly wrong.

How to still be a prick to strangers when your SUV is in the garage

IT’S a major inconvenience when your enormous unnecessary vehicle is off the road. However, don’t let that stop you from irritating others.

'You must be fun at parties': The most annoying things to say in an online argument

FACEBOOK, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube are all chock full of angry bellends raging about f**k all. Here are the most infuriating phrases you’ll see cropping up in tedious online ‘debates’.  

Topping up credit in a shop: F**ked-up phone practices from the Nokia era

HAVING a phone is so easy now with unlimited plans on monthly contracts, but it wasn’t always so. Here’s how hard it was when the 3310 was all the rage.

Eat a meal, and other activities you can no longer do without looking at your phone

PHONES have changed the way people go about their lives, mainly for the worse. Here are five simple activities you can no longer do without them.

Six times you've racked up more than eight hours of phone time a day

YOU look at your phone a perfectly reasonable number of times a day, and less than most. The screentime records it keeps are probably wrong, and anyway excusable.

AI: can it wank me off?

THE world is alive with questions about AI. Will it replace creativity? Eliminate white-collar jobs? Cause war? But nobody has asked the key question: will it wank me off?

Five scam emails so intriguing you're compelled to open them

YOU know it’s a scam, and that opening it might unleash a destructive virus on your computer. And yet you just can’t help but click on these.

Woman on dating app gets more attention in single morning than men get in whole life

A WOMAN who has been on a dating app for a single morning has received more interest than any man would in his entire pathetic life.

Man doesn't get that smiley face emoji means 'stop typing'

A MAN has blundered ahead and tried to keep a conversation going despite being sent a smiley face emoji.