Relationships

Good men all gone and mediocre ones in short supply, woman realises

A SINGLE woman has discovered that she cannot decide to settle for an average or dull man because they have all been snapped up too.

Don't just do oral, and other conception tips for morons

ARE you an idiot trying to breed in the mistaken belief the world needs more like you? Struggling with what goes where? These pointers may bring you success.

We ask you: did you manage to get a Valentine's shag last night, or what?

THE most wonderful day of February is behind us, but did the romance in the air and relentless marketing succeed in getting you laid?

How to repress your homoerotic feelings about the Trump-Putin love affair: A MAGA guide

IT’S impossible to ignore the homoerotic overtones of Trump’s adulation for Putin. If you're a MAGA type feeling aroused by it too, here’s how to bury your unwanted feelings of gayness.

The 24-hour countdown of a boyfriend remembering he was booking something for Valentine's Day: hour by hour

THE countdown to panicked boyfriends remembering they’d promised to ‘book somewhere nice’ for Valentine’s Day is about to begin. Here’s how it will unfold.

Woman refits anecdote to get advice she actually wants

A WOMAN has received the dating advice she was looking for after adjusting her anecdote in response to feedback she did not deem useful.

Have you ever considered you're the problem, dating apps ask users

DATING apps have asked their ugly, humourless, unloveable users if they have ever reflected that not being able to find a partner may not just be the app.

Why I'm disappointed you were so basic as to go for a blonde with big boobs, by your ex

WELL. You moved on fast. 16 months after we split and you’re showing off your new tart on your Instagram stories, knowing I’d see it all using my burner account.

'Dude' and other terms women use to keep men at non-romantic distance

WOMEN have a vast array of words at their disposal to keep men in the friend zone. Here are some that strongly suggest you've got no chance.

Teenager messaging boy she met on bus believes she's in a situationship

A 13-year-old girl who has exchanged messages with a boy on Instagram has decided to attach the label situationship to their conversation.