Relationships

THERE’S nothing better than the feeling of two warm, strong hands obstructing your windpipe as you approach climax. So why are men so reluctant to be choked?

TWO people who used to be in a relationship are still good friends whenever neither of them is in a relationship, they have confirmed.

A 45-YEAR-OLD man is unable to decide between training for a marathon or sleeping with a woman in his office.

A WOMAN is playfully seeing how her new boyfriend will react to a pitiless dissection of everything he is, enjoys, or hopes to be.

A MAN trying to get his girlfriend to dump him has only now realised how bad his behaviour could have been throughout the relationship.

A YOUNG couple who share every activity are each independently desperate to do stuff away from that other bastard for a change.

THE wives of middle-aged miserable men have agreed that this curious phenomenon is entirely unrelated to their own behaviour.

THINK my condition, that of wanting no-strings-attached sex with multiple women, is no more than selfish, objectifying lust? Wait until you hear the cool name I’ve given it.

A MAN is facing the tough choice between spending the evening in the company of his wife, who he loves dearly, or watching something other than total shit.

A SINGLE woman has discovered that she cannot decide to settle for an average or dull man because they have all been snapped up too.