THINK my condition, that of wanting no-strings-attached sex with multiple women, is no more than selfish, objectifying lust? Wait until you hear the cool name I’ve given it.
Yes, I suffer from a disorder which makes me entirely unlike ordinary men who associate sex with love and therefore find it easy to remain monogamous. Want to hear all about it? Because I want to tell you.
I lost my wife a while ago, you see, and that caused a phenomenon called ‘Widower’s fire’. It’s real, you don’t have to look it up, and it meant that I had a strong desire for sex and intimacy that had to be quenched. But not relationships. Definitely not relationships.
So yeah, because of that I had to join those sites you go on to have affairs and have loads of anonymous sex. I had a medical need to. If doctors could have written me a prescription, they would.
Sadly, men with conditions like mine are often misunderstood. Whether men trying nobly to wean themselves off pornography addiction, those with sexual addiction symptoms or those attempting to heal the traumas of youth, we are condemned.
When will society realise there are men who obsessively work Tinder until they get sex then immediately ghost her for bad reasons, and then there are men like me? Who do the same but have a really cool name for it?
It isn’t easy being misunderstood. I would confide in women but they’re the ones who misunderstand so frequently. So what I do now is leave them a little note.
‘Sorry,’ it says, ‘but I have widower’s fire. Sex with you has helped. Please do not call me again. All promises made are null and void.’ And, you know, I think that helps.
