International

How to pretend Trump's brilliant like the tech billionaires do

DONALD Trump takes office tomorrow and the next four years will be much easier to get through if, like Mark Zuckerberg, you pretend to be happy about it. Try this.

Plucky Israel sues for peace

THE brave but beleaguered nation of Israel has given up its spirited fight against the war machine of Gaza and called a ceasefire.

'Trump would have been convicted if you'd pulled your f**king fingers out'

A REPORT has revealed that Donald Trump would have been convicted if the American justice system had stopped pulling its pud and done something.

Search on for bastard who gave Trump a map

THE US is hunting down the thoughtless prick who provided Donald Trump with a map of the world and caused all this trouble.

British person lives abroad because he is fundamentally superior

A BRITISH man living in Berlin has confirmed it is because he is better, both physically and spiritually, than those who have remained in the country of their birth.

'I told you those scooters weren't safe' says mother

A PARENT has told her children, in the light of the assassination of Lt Gen Kirillov in Moscow by exploding scooter, that she knew they were dangerous.