International

VLADIMIR Putin is so unpopular he has been forced to pretend fat, spoiled nerd Kim Jong Un is his friend, it has emerged.

AMERICANS visiting the UK are astonished by minor physical and cultural differences. They should shut the f**k up about these non-puzzling things.

DONALD Trump is mulling the possibility of taking up serial murder to give another boost to his 2024 electoral prospects.

ANYONE forced to stay a few extra days in Ibiza or Crete because of air traffic control delays is receiving no sympathy whatsoever.

THE mugshot of Donald Trump is capable of reading your innermost thoughts, it has been confirmed.

FORMER president Trump believes he looks resolute and powerful in his mugshot, not like a petty, resentful pensioner claiming to have been short-changed on the bus.

THE leader of the Wagner mercenary group has been killed in a plane crash, but could this be more than a mere accident? Could it be… murder?

YOU Brits with your neat queues and willingness to wait, so proud of an achievement so boring. Italian Paolo Cinquetti explains how to swerve that cazzate: 

ABROAD? You’ll happily trek over a mountain to see a 300-year-old pipe organ. You wouldn’t give a shit for any of these if they were in Morecambe.