International

EVER been to the USA and wondered ‘What the f**k is going on?’ You’re not alone. These six American normalities are baffling to decent people.

WHEN I hear that our armed forces are not fully geared up and ready to invade Norway tomorrow, I weep. For we have lost the very essence of our country.

A CHINESE spy balloon has been drifting over the US, filming and gathering information, almost escaping with all the nation’s secrets.

A WOMAN who is fed up with the hassle of life in the UK has announced she is leaving to live an affordable and sophisticated life in continental Europe.

VOLODYMYR Zelensky played a guessing game with Boris Johnson to ascertain why the former PM was in Kyiv this time, it has emerged.

LIKE the whole liberal world that paid no attention to New Zealand until liking the look of Ardern from the stories they skimmed, I have lost a heroine today.

BRITAIN leads the world in swearing, until British people attempt to say things that Americans would call ‘cuss words’. Like these.

CHINA has recorded the first protests in the country’s long and harmonious history, it has confirmed.

THE Supreme Court has today decided that Scotland is not a real place and is just imaginary.

HAVING failed to enjoy the promiscuity it hoped after breaking up with the EU, Britain has suggested a friends-with-benefits relationship.