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You'd think he'd be hard to miss, says world

WHILE not hoping for his death the world has opined that Donald Trump, who is big and orange in a red hat, would surely be hard to miss. 

The arrest of the second would-be assassin of the current election season has many who wish the former president no harm nonetheless reflecting on his distinctive and garish manner of dress.

Nathan Muir of Hitchen said: “Golfing, right? So it’ll be the white polo shirt, the bright red hat, and between them his usual hi-viz hue.

“Tell me that’s not going to stand out against the emerald backdrop of a golf course. It’s like the tutorial level of Sniper Elite 6. And then there’s the fact he constantly emits noise.

“Don’t get me wrong, it would be a disaster for America and the world if he was shot. The chaos it would unleash would be horrendous. On the other hand, I keep thinking of those stalls at the fairground where you pop red balloons with an airgun.

“All I’m saying is in those circumstances I reckon I would have won the oversized cuddly Minion, alright?

Trump said: “These shooters are pathetic. They’re the worst ever, okay? Put that rifle in my hands and I’d be a dead man.”

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Shop staff deeply touched by empathy of former retail worker

THE overworked staff of a busy clothes shop have found great comfort in the sympathy of a woman who knows what it is like because she worked in retail once. 

While Donna Sheridan’s dozens of hard-to-fold items were being packed, she gracefully took a moment to empathise with employee Lucy Parry by saying that she too had worked in a shop back when she was in sixth form.

Speaking through tears, Parry said: “When Donna took that whole minute to share that she, now a successful woman buying five tops at a time, had been where I am and pass on advice about cash handling not relevant since 1998, I was too moved to speak.

“Just knowing I faced a fellow soldier who understood the pressure got me through the rest of the shift. And she wasn’t afraid to get hands-on, pointing out I was folding her jacket wrong and showing me how to do it.

“Knowing she used to be one of us made the whole interaction so much more. Suddenly she wasn’t an annoying busybody customer but a fellow soldier down here in the trenches. And a ray of hope.

“If I ever make it out of here, if I ever end up earning halfway to six figures like Donna does, I’ll thank her. For taking that moment. For being so inspiring.”

Donna said: “All in a day’s work. Later I’ll tell a depressed friend that I was sad once, but I got over it.”

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