KEIR Starmer is obviously the bottom in the bromance he has struck up with Donald Trump, experts believe.
The prime minister’s submissive demeanour and insipid physical presence mean that Trump has designated him the receiver in the ‘special’ relationship the pair established in the White House.
Body language expert Donna Sheridan said: “See how Trump instantly exerted his dominance with a bone-crushing handshake? That’s their sexual power dynamic in a nutshell.
“Trump is unquestionably the ‘top’. His bright orange skin and majestic hair styling are the plumage of a male peacock, and his stance is that of a bull in heat. Whereas Starmer’s meek grey side-parting and nerdy specs are the hallmarks of a clingy partner about to be f**ked and chucked.
“Subconsciously, Starmer is aware of his place. Offering the president a second state visit on behalf of the King wasn’t an act of diplomacy, it was the political equivalent of releasing a pheromone inviting Trump to rut him.
“Trump might let Starmer take the lead if he’s been particularly obedient or it’s his birthday, but don’t be fooled. Even that’s part of their set-up, and daddy Trump can take control again whenever he feels like it.”
Starmer said: “My safeword is ‘cranberries’. ‘Cranberries, cranberries, cranberries!’ as I like to say.”
