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Politics

'So, who else hates scum?': Six failed conversation starters with defector MP Natalie Elphicke

FORMER Tory MP Natalie Elphicke is doing her best to fit in with her new Labour comrades, but struggling to find common ground. These are her openers so far.

Sunak thinking of defecting

We ask you: what secrets will defecting Tory MP Natalie Elphicke bring with her?

THE member for Dover has defected from the Conservatives to Labour, but what invaluable secrets does she bring from her former masters?

Scotland's new first minister to be bald bloke

Sunak pins hopes on new pandemic

THE prime minister plans to recover from today’s election results by launching a new pandemic and furloughing everyone.

What employers want to see on your LinkedIn profile: A guide for Conservative MPs

ARE you a Conservative MP worried about job security? Learn how to stand out from millions of other jobseekers desperate for work with this guide.

Changing leader again would be funny, Tories assured

THE electorate has reassured the Conservatives they would find a change of leader both desperate and hilarious.

If you listen closely you can hear the Tories crashing and burning

THE public has been informed that if they stand still and the wind is blowing in the right direction, they will actually be able to hear the Conservative party imploding.

We ask you: will you heartlessly punish blameless Tory councillors in tomorrow’s elections?

LOCAL Conservative councillors have done nothing wrong, so will you vengefully punish them for the sins of the national party in local elections tomorrow?

Seven terrible things about London, the city I hate, by mayoral candidate Susan Hall

LONDON mayoral candidate Susan Hall has been criticised for a campaign based on unhinged attacks on Sadiq Khan and appearing to hate the capital. Here she shares a last rant before losing.