Politics

THE prime minister has apologised for leaving the D-Day service early but he was unaware that you were all a lame bunch of history swots.

AFTER trying to make the electorate notice him with a series of entertaining japes, Sir Ed Davey has finally got the attention he craves by being fined for speeding.

RISHI Sunak and Keir Starmer faced each other in a head-to-head debate last night. How much did you see before disgust overwhelmed you?

A DISMAL pair of contestants on last night's ITV debate failed to win a single penny for their respective charities, it has been confirmed.

RISHI Sunak has asserted that his last five years in government, covering his time as chancellor and prime minister, do not count because his fingers were crossed.

THERE’S one thing this general election is a bit light on: huge twats. That’s why I’ve decided to return to the fray.

KEMI Badenoch believes the Conservatives should be congratulated for waiting until the second week of their campaign before leveraging the trans issue.