Politics

SO many Tories have defected to Labour over the years they have an initiation ritual modelled on the Hell’s Angels. This is what Dr Dan Poulter will have to endure.

WHO needs a functioning opposition to f**k up a decade in government? Not the SNP! They’ve proved you can do it effectively and stylishly all on your own.

HUMZA, buddy, I’ve just seen the news. Bad luck, mate. Not everyone can be universally adored like me. Want to know how I do it? I’ll let you into a few secrets.

LABOUR’S rail nationalisation plans have confirmed they are a party unafraid to do the entirely obvious thing if they feel it benefits Britain.

RISHI Sunak is increasing defence spending and preparing for war. Would you send your children to battle under his indefatigable command?

THE prime minister is eagerly awaiting opinion polls that will reveal whether Britain really is as cretinous as he hopes.