DIRECTOR Nick Love is back with yet another football hooligan film, Marching Powder. Everyone loves footie thug movies, especially women, so which is best for date night with your beloved?

BOOBS are usually a quick, easy way to get eyes staring at screens, but these films treated them as though they are nothing more than anatomy.

BEING into a band means you have a moral obligation to pretend to enjoy all associated solo work, and never to admit it’s crap. Loyally play the following.

THIS year's EastEnders Christmas episodes will set new standards in harrowing festive grimness, the BBC has promised.

MODERN cinema is proud to present positive female role models, and what do you do? Enlist them in your sordid imaginings. You should be ashamed.

YOUNG people who never flicked through Jilly Cooper books for the dirty bits are entirely uninterested in their screen adaptation, they have confirmed.

PROSECUTORS in the US are to reopen the Menendez murder case, because it was on streaming. What British cases should be re-examined?

YOU have to admire the audacity with which Noel Gallagher pinches musical ideas, and Oasis reforming is a chance to enjoy these classic acts of theft all over again. Here they are ranked from worst to best.

HAVING a gay following is both inclusive and a shrewd business move for a musical artist. These acts need to work harder to build their homosexual fanbase.