THE curse of Strictly has claimed another victim, GoCompare man Wynne Evans. But are dark supernatural forces undeniably at work, or is there a simpler explanation?
Who placed the curse?
Normally cursing is the province of witches but it’s no longer a popular career choice, and there are fewer ancient Egyptian priests than there used to be. Leading spiritual figures Jesus and God have been known to curse things but are they Strictly viewers? Did they curse it in fury after their devout servant Ann Widdecombe was voted off?
Is it a curse or is being a twat a factor?
It’s only a few months since Wynne Evans was in trouble for allegedly groping dancer Katya Jones. Then, apparently to settle doubts about that, he joked about ‘spit-roasting’ dancer Janette Manrara. Could unpleasant comments about sex acts have caused Wynne’s misfortunes rather than the occult? It’s certainly a possibility.
Why are the curses so boring?
The Wizard of Oz gets described as cursed for suffering mishaps like flying monkeys plummeting to the ground when wires snapped and the Tin Man getting aluminium poisoning from his makeup. But it’s lightweight. Where’s the gory Final Destination curse of the Tin Man tripping and impaling Judy Garland on his metal funnel, blood spurting everywhere?
Are class A drugs somehow cursed?
The Curse of Hollyoaks refers to the spooky number of actors with addiction problems. And it’s hard to see how a predominantly young cast earning loads of money on a show where wraps of coke were given as welcoming gifts could veer off the straight and narrow. An investigation may reveal the set was built on a native American burial ground.
Why are curses entirely in keeping with probability?
The film Poltergeist is supposedly cursed, after four actors died during or soon after filming. But why so few of the hundreds involved? The low body count would seem to be evidence against the supernatural, unless curses avoid suspicion and thought unleashing a shark on Steven Spielberg in his own bath would be too obvious.
Do incredibly dangerous things increase the likelihood of curse-like effects such as death?
In Twilight Zone: The Movie two actors were decapitated by a helicopter blade and another was crushed under a skid. The fact that the scene involved detonating a large explosive charge under a real helicopter hovering dangerously low does point to a non-supernatural explanation. But looking at it rationally, the helicopter was probably cursed.
Why do only shit programmes attract curses?
Only bad shows are cursed – light entertainment crap like Strictly, dogshit like Hollyoaks and miserable shite like EastEnders. You never hear of ‘the curse of Game of Thrones’. Is there a latter-day witch out there, perhaps a malevolent Wiccan, who is a harsh critic of lazy programming and hates the BBC even more than the Daily Mail does?
