THE BBC is jubilant after learning that the next disgraced TV chef to dominate the news works mainly for ITV.
Whoops of joy were heard ringing out through Broadcasting House after the corporation discovered it is not associated with the next TV chef whose career is self-destructing in a frenzy of media attention over claims of inappropriate behaviour.
A BBC spokesperson said: “Thank Christ. We needed this, after the last few weeks, and indeed years, we’ve had.
“We went straight into panic mode when rumours of another TV chef scandal started circulating. If it came out that Rick Stein or Matt Tebbutt were wrong ‘uns that would be the last straw. So imagine how relieved and overjoyed we’re feeling right now.
“Details about what Gino D’Acampo did or did not do on the set of This Morning – which lest we forget was a hive of sordid cancellable activity – are still emerging, but it’s important we report it anyway and let you speculate wildly. The more public brain space this occupies, the better we look.
“True, Gino did the odd cooking show for us, but nobody remembers them. And thank f**k we didn’t have him on Strictly. That show’s a cesspit of infidelity and sexual harassment. Who knows what he’d have got up to there?”
An ITV spokesperson said: “We utterly reject claims that we’ve stolen the BBC’s format of harmless light entertainment shows turning into a PR disaster of sexual harassment claims.
“We’ve already advised Gino not to make a tit of himself by aggressively doubling down on social media. No one wants another Gregg Wallace.”
