Arts & Entertainment

KEEN to avoid being gifted the latest mediocre book by a TV celebrity abusing their fame by way of the written word? Complete the following form and email to the Home Office:.

LIKE an 80s video nasty or the Star Wars Holiday Special, Masterchef’s Christmas show will never be seen by anyone. These are descriptions of the most chilling scenes. Reader discretion advised.

THE famous 1991 sex tips video Lovers’ Guide is in the news due to the sad death of one its stars. But like so many vaguely forbidden sex things, the reality didn’t match up...

THE BBC has announced it is choosing women for everything from now on because they mostly do not cause horrible sleazy scandals that take ages to sort out.

ANAL can be a beautiful act between loving couples in committed relationships, but is rarely portrayed that way by so-called liberal Hollywood. These acts are off-putting.

THESE enigmatic band names promise exciting and mysterious things, but unfortunately are just masking how dull the music actually is. Be quickly disappointed by these artists.

THE cultural event of the year, according to august commentators and heavyweight intellectuals, was when that one rapper called the other one a paedophile.

FATHER Christmas wants you to call him Daddy, and according to these musical masterpieces ’tis the season for him to get some. Listen and believe.

A FRIEND who did not enjoy the TV show you recommended has now started to take a dim view of you as well, they have confirmed.