THE idea of a blatantly evil or insane US President is usually restricted to fiction, but not anymore. Here are some crazed film presidents who could learn a lot from Donald.
Greg Stillson, The Dead Zone
In this Stephen King tale of precognition, future president Stillson starts World War 3 with a preemptive nuclear strike while having some sort of breakdown. It’s not hard to imagine Trump also causing Armageddon somehow, but at least Stillson doesn’t talk shit incessantly. Sure, he wipes out humanity, but at no point does he ramble on like a twat about ‘the weave’.
Coriolanus Snow, The Hunger Games
President Snow rules a society based on brutal death matches designed to punish the ‘districts’ for a failed rebellion. Trump always bears a grudge so this would be right up his street, especially if he could watch his real or imagined enemies fight to the death. However, the ruthless but intelligent Snow feels the games are a necessary evil to preserve the power of the Capitol. Trump would do it for the petty satisfaction of watching Kamala Harris getting shot in the head with an arrow.
President Bracken, The First Purge
In the Purge universe, Bracken is the president who introduces the Purge as a way for the public to work off their aggression with a night of legalised murder. And why not? There’s no way that could cause an unending cycle of revenge and destroy vital infrastructure. It’s exactly the sort of batshit idea that would appeal to Trump, except the dumb f**k wouldn’t understand the concept of restricting it to one night. He’d make every night Purge night, until the US was back in the Stone Age and Americans were actually ‘eating the dawgs’ this time.
Thunderbolt Ross, Captain America: Brave New World
Thaddeus Ross varies considerably in the sprawling Marvel Universe, but in the new Captain America film he turns into Red Hulk and starts destroying things in an uncontrollable rage, as hulks tend to. He’s returned to normality by being reminded of walking among Washington’s cherry blossoms with his estranged daughter Betty, who he later makes up with. Trump’s relationship with Ivanka is somewhat less touching, due to him repeatedly saying how ‘hot’ she is, suggesting he would date her, and telling Howard Stern it was fine to call her a ‘piece of ass’.
Alan Richmond, Absolute Power
In this Clint Eastwood thriller, scumbag President Richmond is having an affair with his best friend’s wife and becomes sexually violent with her, causing her to get shot by the secret service when she fights back. He then spends the rest of the film trying to cover it up. Sexual abuse and cover-ups feature heavily in Trump’s life, but there’s no sign of the bad guy getting his bloody comeuppance as he does in the film.
Fictionalised Richard Nixon, Watchmen
We don’t learn much about alternative timeline Nixon, but given Alan Moore’s overall dystopian vision it can be assumed that Watchmen Nixon is a worse version of the real one, who was a lying, vindictive bastard anyway. However the good thing about Nixon – not a phrase you hear often – is that he wasn’t stupid like Trump, and for all his faults, eg. Watergate, Nixon never subjected anyone to gibberish about wind turbines ‘driving the whales crazy’ and Hannibal Lecter.
Dwayne Camacho, Idiocracy
Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho isn’t evil, but he is phenomenally thick, and bears some responsibility for the pitiful state of the US and encouraging people to be idiots. So no parallels there. However the fictional former wrestler and porn star does eventually save the day by accepting the extremely obvious fact that water enables crops to grow. In the same situation, Trump would never accept he was wrong and just let everyone starve. Especially with fellow cretin RFK Jr advising him.
