Arts & Entertainment

KEIRA Knightley has written a children’s book, based on no literary merit other than being in Pride & Prejudice. Here are some more famous people who really shouldn’t bother either.

AN artificial intelligence trained on Radiohead’s music can produced precisely two good albums before dissolving into an electronic morass, researchers have found.

YOU bought their records, and now they want you to buy appalling artwork which proves their talent is solely musical. None of these would be hung on merit.

THERE is ugliness in Hollywood, but only on the inside. Which is why the casting directors of these had to cast tanned and toned actors with glowing veneers.

WANT to avoid crucial plot details but don’t have an ounce of common sense? Dodge spoilers with this painfully obvious guide.

DIRECTOR Nick Love is back with yet another football hooligan film, Marching Powder. Everyone loves footie thug movies, especially women, so which is best for date night with your beloved?

BOOBS are usually a quick, easy way to get eyes staring at screens, but these films treated them as though they are nothing more than anatomy.

BEING into a band means you have a moral obligation to pretend to enjoy all associated solo work, and never to admit it’s crap. Loyally play the following.

THIS year's EastEnders Christmas episodes will set new standards in harrowing festive grimness, the BBC has promised.