Sport

HE has walked away from the England team, but who knows what rowdy craziness Gareth Southgate will get up next?

OF the names bandied around to be next England manager, most would rather be fired out of a cannon into Jordan Pickford. But there are always fools:.

THE BBC has revealed that it prepared an amazing montage in preparation for England’s incredible last-minute win in the final that never happened.

AN eight-year-old has woken up excited only to be informed that football will not be coming home because it is dead.

GARETH Southgate has announced, hours before the European Championship final, that the entire England squad is injured as is he.

ENGLAND play in the final tomorrow, and if they lose it will be your fault for not dressing up. What are you planning to wear?

THE England team are to spend tomorrow completing an ascent up Germany’s tallest mountain in an ill-timed motivational exercise.

THE prime minister has promised to celebrate England reaching the Euros final by putting a lit flare in his anus.