Sport

Fanzone not celebrating England wins by throwing pints because they cost £9.50

ENGLAND fans watching the game in a fanzone today say they will not celebrate goals by flinging their pints in the air because they cost the best part of a f**king tenner.

Triathletes unable to say why

COMPETITORS in punishing triathlons are at a loss to explain why they would ever take part in them, it has emerged.

We ask you: who do you fancy to knock England out of Euro 2024?

THIS could be England’s year to go all the way to the stage where they are defeated by a better team, but who will that team be?

How the Euros are going to f**k up your month if you don't give a shit about football

IF you don’t care about football, your life is about to become a waking nightmare. Despair as you're subjected to these things, you non-football-loving weirdo.

Why is it here? What did we do wrong? The US guide to the US-hosted Cricket World Cup

THE USA is co-hosting a Cricket World Cup it knows f**k all about. Here’s a guide to the perplexing, tedious sport so beloved of British people.

We ask you: will United beat City in today’s FA Cup final, or does the world make sense?

MANCHESTER United play rivals Manchester City in today’s FA Cup final, but would a shock win cause the magnetic poles to reverse and the dead to walk the earth?