GARETH Southgate has announced, hours before the European Championship final, that the entire England squad is injured as is he.
The manager confirmed every member of the 26-man squad, from Jude Bellingham to third-choice goalkeeper Dean Henderson, will be unfit to play in tonight’s game after picking up injuries in training but they will muddle through somehow.
He continued: “Gutted for the lads. All we did was pass the ball a bit, more of a warm-up really, and I could hear hamstrings twanging like it was Duelling Banjos.
“Kane can’t move his hip, Saka’s snapped both metatarsals simultaneously, and nobody even wants to look at Foden’s groin. Three times the size and pulsing. So yeah, every single one of us. I shattered my elbow trying to stop Tripper falling down a old well.
“Obviously the timing is unfortunate, but we’ve just about patched a team together. It’s Ramsdale’s first go as a striker but what that gives us is the element of surprise.”
Fan Nathan Muir said: “Given the luck we’ve had, you can’t say this wasn’t due.”
