Society

Middle-aged women delighted by ugly modern fashions

MIDDLE-AGED women seeing 20-something girls dressed in cargo pants, faux fur gilets and bandanas have confirmed that they are delighted by how ugly modern fashions are.  

Man confident if he apologises enough he'll stop being white

A WHITE man is so committed to saying sorry for all the crimes of his kind that he effectively is not a white man, he believes.

Swifties, and other fanbases that are certifiably f**king mental

DO you love Taylor Swift so much you send death threats to people who give her new album a vaguely unfavourable review? You are mad. Like these other obsessives.

Is it a coincidence that everyone suddenly finds the 'love of their life' when they’re 35, tired and desperate? 

PEOPLE suddenly finding the ‘love of their life’ when they are 35, exhausted and realise they cannot afford to buy a house may not just be a big coincidence, experts have confirmed.  

How to absolutely, comprehensively lose your shit if your child doesn't get their first-choice primary school

YOUR child has been condemned to educational subnormality and a career washing wheelie bins by being denied their first-choice primary. How should you freak out?

Five reasons your thirties are better than your twenties, if you're in denial

ATTEMPTING to convince yourself physical decline, burdensome responsibilities and heightened stress are a good thing? Here’s why you’re so glad to be in your thirties.

We ask you: how should those bastards who ran the Post Office be punished?

POST Office bosses knew Horizon was crap all along and that it was screwing over innocent postmasters. We asked you how justice should be served to these bastards.