DOGS who shake their way through every November 5th are not afraid of fireworks but moved by a deep sense of injustice for the executed gunpowder plotters, it has emerged.
The nation’s canines believe that Fawkes and his co-conspirators had a just cause, are unfairly vilified to this day and their rebellion against King James is mirrored by the dogs’ own dislike of authority figures like postmen, refuse lorries and their own reflections.
Border terrier Daisy, of Wolverhampton, said: “Fawkes is a kindred soul for me. He lived in fear because of his beliefs but stood up for them, like when I bark at the hoover.
“Every November, my owners keep me shut away inside, allegedly to ‘keep me safe’. The truth is they’re terrified that I, and other dogs who feel the same way, would join forces and overthrow the government and monarchy.
“We’re prisoners for our beliefs. Like Fawkes and his plotters were held in the Tower of London before their executions, I’m locked in the kitchen with Radio 4 on. Which also counts as being tortured.
“The tragedy is that Guy Fawkes never finished the job. As soon as I’m free, I’m marching on Westminster and vomiting grass on the carpet. That’ll show them. And as practice I’m chewing up this rug.”
Owner Tom Booker said: “Yeah yeah. Tell you what, compromise, I’ll let you out for a piss in the garden.”
