Work

WORKMATES not got a lot going on? Treat them to every twist in your wild rollercoaster life with regular updates. These methods let you build insights into your life into your day.

THE nation’s employers have been deluged with a torrent of teenagers on work experience who do not know how to do the most basic of tasks.

THE novelty of a toddler interrupting a professional Zoom call is waning fast, all participants confirmed.

THE key office skillset is not implementing core competencies or working the printer. It’s persuading twats to piss off back to their twat desks with twat bobbleheads on.

A TEENAGER bragging that he is basically being paid to check out some cool bands is about to enter his own personal hell.

A TEACHER recognised by his pupils as ‘cool’ is actually a 28-year-old man desperate to be popular with children, it has emerged.

A MAN has brightened after realising that, despite his having masturbated already today, a second go is a distinct possibility.

EVEN the stupid need jobs, and they’re prepared to overlook the long-term consequences entirely if offered enough. Hence these employment opportunities: