Work

YOU need something from the shops, but you’re surrounded by hungry, bored colleagues waiting to put in detailed requests. Here’s how to avoid being their pack mule.

EXPERTS have confirmed it is necessary to put on a little show when arriving late for work.

YOUR annoying colleague has already chased up on that task they assigned to you just before Christmas, it has emerged.

BEING given a completely unsuitable present by someone you see almost every day is the best way to find out they do not give a toss about you, it has emerged.

A SECRET Santa gift to be unwrapped later will, before 5.30pm, become the subject of an investigation by human resources.

EVERY office is a writhing hotbed of lust, and some departments are so busy fornicating they get very little done.

THERE’s nothing worse than sitting peacefully on the bog when a colleague walks in. Here’s how to discover who the selfish, entitled bastard is.

A MANAGER giving a presentation to 20 bored employees is under the misguided impression he is delivering a dazzling TED talk.

EMPLOYERS have confirmed they only consider giving the top roles to candidates with top grades in their religious studies GCSEs.

A WOMAN who has been absent on medical leave has return to the office with, to her co-workers’ surprise, significantly larger breasts.