Work

As new figures revealed an increase in child poverty and a reduction in the number of children with part-time jobs, backbench Tories said it ‘did not take a genius to make the connection’.

A HOMEWORKER has been shocked to discover that not all jobs are done while simultaneously browsing pornography.

A SALES manager who tells employees ‘Cheer up, it might never happen!’ has no idea that they cannot because it has happened and it is he.

A WOMAN has prepared a complicated lie about why she is late for work 'because of the clocks'.

THE UK has awoken, opened the curtains to windows that are nothing but rectangles of darkness, and realised that summer was just a silly dream.

THE number of shit jobs in Britain has reached an all-time time high.

A WOMAN in a meeting decided to make some notes before her colleagues figured out she had not not been listening to a word that had been said.

A MAN who phoned in sick last week is confident his colleagues will not notice the change in his skin colour.

A MAN has abandoned his plan to work hard and is instead focusing on having successful friends.

AN OFFICE has been compared to a family where everyone detests each other and fights all the time.