Society

DEAR Him/Her/They. Santa is currently undergoing awareness training, so I will making some alterations to your Christmas. Here are my substitutions.

SPOILER alert: Santa isn't real. But did you learn the truth in the most traumatising way possible? 

NEVER felt loved or supported by your own father? Your Christmas gift shouldn't reveal your true feelings, so here are some ideal for emotionally stunted dads.

DESPITE the song’s claims, Christmas isn't the most wonderful time of the year. It barely scrapes into the top ten. These occasions are far more wonderful.

A MIDDLE class man is torn between feeling he should tip his binmen and not actually wanting to go near them.

PEOPLE from the north of England have been accused of hypocrisy by constantly going on about how unfriendly Southerners are on public transport.

A YOUNG person has been made to explain every single syllable of the latest indecipherable sentence they have spouted, it has emerged.

LEAVING your car in an ordinary car park now demands not only advanced digital literacy but also the recitation of an ancient oath.

WANT to pay an extra £200 for your car’s annual service? Simply make sure your car includes these accessories and you’ll be out of pocket in no time.

THERE are many important reasons to sound your car horn, even if you’re in a quiet residential area, and all of them are linked to being an arsehole. These are the top five.