CHILDREN have reached the stage of the school holidays when boredom precedes consciousness, they have confirmed.
Regardless of the weather, myriad entertainment options or whoever is currently doing a half-hearted job of caring for them, children aged between five and 16 are opening their eyes and instantly pronouncing themselves bored beyond reason.
Susan Traherne of Heaton Mersey said: “Obviously I dread them waking up. That’s normal for three weeks into the summer.
“But up until now we’ve at least managed to shepherd them through breakfast and their first two hours of telly before they start lowing ‘boooored’ like cattle readying themselves to charge a fence down.
“The entire content of three streaming services is boring. Every video game they have is boring. Every toy or book in their room is boring. The company of their siblings is the most boring thing of all, though to be fair they have a point there.
“They’re bored on days out, they’re bored stuck in. Even Jean-Paul Sartre wasn’t this overwhelmed with ennui. Luckily, I have the major advantage of not giving a f**k.”
14-year-old Amelia Traherne said: “I am bored so I must go and pester mum to end it, even though she is the most boring person in the entire world. So there’s irony there.”
