Lifestyle

CHILDREN are precious angels, and we shouldn’t destroy their innocence by using bad language in front of them. Apart from on these occasions.

IF you’ve got twattish traits it’s good to be upfront about them. It won’t stop you being a twat, but at least people have been forewarned. Try these phrases.

HAVE your retired parents suddenly discovered they have money? Here are the unnecessarily expensive home goods they’ll start feeling the need to acquire.

SECOND-HAND platforms have the occasional gem in a mountain of crap. Which of these delights will you scroll past today?

IS your partner really asleep, or just pretending in order to avoid confronting reality? If they're doing these things, they are faking it.

IS life making unreasonable demands of you today? It's Friday, so you're allowed to get out of these incredibly stupid so-called 'responsibilities'.

A WOMAN you had forgotten existed would like you to be part of what is clearly a blatant scam.

A MAN is endeavouring to convince people that having a Fleshlight is just as normal as a woman having a vibrator.

SOME absolute wankers think they’re too good for regular timekeeping. Here’s how they mark out their days.

A MAN who recently celebrated his 36th birthday has fallen into depression after it was only attended by people he privately thinks of as ‘the dregs’.