Lifestyle

YOU only went shopping today, but most of your food has already mysteriously disappeared. Here are five telltale signs some git has been foraging through your fridge.

THE sight of a baby does not make a man want to have a baby. However, there are certain triggers which set their biological clocks ticking.

FLYING business class means nothing unless people you went to school with a decade ago know about it. Here’s how to broadcast your briefly exalted status.

WOMEN have confirmed they only cram their feet into tall pointy shoes is so they can make a delightful clip-clop sound as they walk.

CHILDREN are precious angels, and we shouldn’t destroy their innocence by using bad language in front of them. Apart from on these occasions.

IF you’ve got twattish traits it’s good to be upfront about them. It won’t stop you being a twat, but at least people have been forewarned. Try these phrases.

HAVE your retired parents suddenly discovered they have money? Here are the unnecessarily expensive home goods they’ll start feeling the need to acquire.

SECOND-HAND platforms have the occasional gem in a mountain of crap. Which of these delights will you scroll past today?

IS your partner really asleep, or just pretending in order to avoid confronting reality? If they're doing these things, they are faking it.

IS life making unreasonable demands of you today? It's Friday, so you're allowed to get out of these incredibly stupid so-called 'responsibilities'.