A GYM’S early-morning soundtrack for busy professionals exercising before work is entirely focused on sex, regulars have uncomfortably noted.
A collection of individuals whose joyless lives see them on running machines shortly after dawn on a Monday are being regaled with song after song about f**king while they try to avoid eye contact.
Charlotte Phelps, aged 32, said: “I caught a glimpse of a sweaty, balding man doing squats while a woman sang about needing a stranger’s body ‘right now like nothing else matters’.
“So that was awkward. As was every grunt I heard from the man next to me performing repetitive, sweaty movements so close I could feel his body heat. While a woman sang ‘take it off’ and ‘slow, steady, undress, impress.’
“Why am I listening to music about sex in a nightclub at this time in a Monday? Who am I going to f**k in a nightclub at 7am on a Monday? The cleaner?”
“As someone who is currently rotating my pelvis while working it back and forth, I would prefer the songs to be about something else. What about some nice banging tunes about agriculture?”
Gym manager Joe Turner said: “The music makes the gym a welcoming environment for everyone. Especially those who want to hit nasty all night, girl.”
